A big change is exciting and terrifying. It is captivating and debilitating. When you take a big step out of your comfort zone and into something new, it can feel liberating. Like a new lease on life! There are so many reasons to move into the unknown, and take a chance on your dreams. For one, you never know what will come out of a new opportunity, even if it is not what was expected. Opening a door leads to many more. It also gives you a new perspective on yourself and your abilities as a person. New experiences allow you to create more stories, meet new people.
That is how life should be. Yet all too often the fear of failure looms. There are creeping doubts, awkward fears, and the overall belief that it might be better to retreat into safety. These feelings may not even appear until the wheels are already in motion. What then? You might feel overwhelmed, wanting to stay in bed. Ordinary tasks or decisions become a nightmare. You could have a complete melt-down unexpectedly, leaving yourself (and loved ones) in a tailspin.
The causes of these little traumas are myriad, forming a blackness that has come from your desire to do something different. If it is your choice to change things up, you doubt yourself, letting limiting beliefs slay your power. Aside from giving yourself a pep talk, and keeping in mind your true goal, there are ways to combat this feeling!
Create a strategy
This is a big one when trying to achieve a goal. Planning doesn’t always have to be super in detail; it depends on how you work. For every big planner, there is an improviser rolling with the punches. Whoever you are, doubts can creep in if you don’t have a strategy for what want to achieve. Set mini goals in place, keeping in mind when you want to achieve them. Visualise any issues that could arise, and how you will combat them. Do this when in a positive mood, helping you feel less blindsided if issues come at you! A vision board can be a device when feeling listless. Leaving it somewhere you will see it often can give little boosts and help get things done.
Arm yourself with your Tribe
Having sympathetic ears around you is a huge boost. Choose people who will be there to talk you through any freak-outs, and have a clear idea of your goals. At a time when you big change looms, the belief that you need to act strong and positive is overpowering. Otherwise people might doubt your decision right? No one can go it alone, find your tribe and allow them to soothe or make sense of the nagging worries in your mind. Feel those crazy thoughts becoming ordered and less scary through discussion. This can even lead to more strategizing!
Endorphins are proven to ramp up self-esteem and positive power. Set aside some time to run, cycle, swim, Kick-box. Whatever leaves you feeling calm and grounded! If you are thinking; “I don’t have time”, there are lots of ten-minute workouts online that will give you a power boost. Even just a few minutes of yogic stretching or deep breathing can help get the blood flowing, and give a new perspective on that life-changer.
Join new groups or meet-ups
Big change involving a move to a new place can feel so daunting. Even if you are doing it with a partner or friends, the new pressures can test this bond. The big truth is; you are not supposed to live in each other’s pockets! Identifying together with this one, shared constant could start feeling like your own identity is disappearing. If spending too much time together starts to grate, step away! Find new people, get involved in new things, and you might just find coming back to the fold more calming and nurturing.
The important thing here is to remember is to talk to your partner or friends if you feel this way. If they are going through the same thing as you, the last thing you want to do is alienate them. Explain that branching out could help you both, and give you more things to talk about, and a bit of breathing space.
Be gentle with yourself!
With a big change, the voice inside your head will make you want to rush it along, to get past the feels and the hard work, to the end goal. Enjoy the process of the actions you set to achieve your goals. Manage your time and make sure you set aside some relaxation time. Have a glass of wine, watch your favourite show, listen to music, dance naked in the garden. The main thing is not burn yourself out through work or worry! All it leads to is a fuzzy head and heightened cortisol levels!
There are lots of reasons to make changes in your life. Every change, big or small, should be seen as an opportunity to grow. Expanding your horizons can lead to better things, or simply make you realize how much you already had. Negative emotions within the change are as important as the positives. The power is in how you relate to, use and combat the negatives to learn from each experience. Whilst too much of it can be damaging, stress can actually be used to create more energy for your goal. That’s part of the basis of the instinctual ‘fight or flight’ mode. Whatever changes you want to make, explore the possibilities with an open mind, roll with the punches and make sure you are learning from every experience. Even if it is tough at first, it is all good training for the future!